Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Am I writing to please the world? Um, maybe not so much...

Hello my lovelies!
      I've decided to do something a little different today. I usually promote other authors or my latest releases, but while browsing the internet for romantic pictures for my publisher's GLBT day on Facebook, a random thought occurred to me...
      I spend far too much time apologizing for the genres I write. 
      Sometimes I'm apologizing for the M/M stories, but sometimes it's because my books have become hotter over the last couple of years, and I've discovered that other authors, who at one time were my peers, my equals, now seem to look down on me, and that hurts. 
      Although I may endure the sting, I still can't help asking myself why I feel the need to apologize at all. 
     After all, I don't write erotic stories for the sex, even though sex is essential for the kind of passion I prefer to express. 
     I, personally, am a very passionate person and guess what? I can be a little kinky, too. Shocker, I know. 
     I spent over fifteen years in a marriage where I behaved accordingly as a mother and wife, but in all honesty, passion wasn't always there, though the desire to be passionate definitely was.
     In later years, when I had to start over from scratch, I was able to express my inner kink and experiment. 
     In doing so, I proved what I knew all along... SEX is awesome, and it's even better when desires are freely expressed and one takes advantage of all the beautiful ways  to please and be pleased. 
     So, if I've had the opportunity to be true to myself, why wouldn't I try to be just as true to the characters I write, whether they're straight, gay, lesbian or bi? 
     Being a little freaky, or more open about sex doesn't mean I don't believe in the sanctity of marriage, the seriousness of a committed relationship, or the equal rights of any couple in love to be together in whatever way they choose or with whomever they choose. It just means that I feel a little freer to express it, and I try to do so tastefully.
     Yes, the language tends to be a little rougher with my male/male stories, but in all fairness, men are different than women. 
    Men can, and do, say things to each other they might not say to a woman simply because most were raised to treat women differently. That's particularly true in my neck of the woods where women are southern belles and men are expected to be gentlemen. 
     When I write a m/m story, I prefer to let men be men and try not to mold them into the perfect mate for a woman,  but instead, the perfect mate for another man. No false pretense or over-politeness for the sake of being gentlemanly. I prefer an alpha to stay alpha and it's even better if both men vie for that coveted spot of "top dog." That's just nature, folks! 
     When a woman is involved, she can be strong, but the man always needs to be a true hero or he loses favor with the reader and could even lose the interest of the heroine in the process, so there isn't much of a power struggle.
     Whereas with two heroes...well, now you're talking a true blue, no holds barred, fight to the finish and that's hot. 
     So how can I apologize for something that comes naturally to me as a writer? How can I try to 'explain' my position on equal rights for everyone, especially where love is concerned? How can I expect others feel the emotion in my books, if I am untrue to the emotion I create between two lovers?(or 3 where Immortal Thirst is concerned)
     And more importantly, how can I apologize for passion, no matter how naughty it gets? 
     The simple answer is....I won't. Not anymore.
     If someone prefers reading behind closed doors sex...so be it. I'll not think less of them or consider them a prude or uptight or in any other negative way. 
by Pablo Picasso
     And I won't have my feelings hurt if they don't read my books either. In fact, I would feel more at ease for their sake if they didn't, simply because I want my readers to feel comfortable with the emotions they experience while reading my books. If they're feeling antsy, I'll feel antsy too, and where's the fun in that?
    In return, all I ask is for the same respect to be extended to me, especially from other authors. It's no fun feeling like a outsider just because my taste in writing tends to fall outside the "box". 
by Leonardo Di Vinci
     Besides, should Picasso apologize to Di Vinci for seeing the world differently? I would hope not. 
     Our differences are what makes us all so special, whether it be the way we worship, the way we raise our children, or the way we express our desires. 
     Someone once told me when I first began to seriously pursue writing..."Write like your mama's already dead."
     Now, that piece of advice wasn't meant to be a death wish for my mother, by any means. 
     

Instead, it was a reminder to give myself permission to write in a way where I can remain true to my muse and to my heart without fear of what others would say or think.
I'd forgotten that somewhere along the way, but now I'm back on track. 

15 comments:

  1. *claps* Oh, yes! You've pretty much said everything I've got to say on the matter. I've always been, this is me. This is what I write. If you don't like it, that's too bad, but I'm not forcing you to read it!

    Not sure what sparked this post of yours, but heck yeah, you tell them;-)

    And I really must move your books higher on my to read pile!!!

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    1. Thanks, Doris.
      I've always tried to be myself, too. Lately I've picked up on a few comments that have been "polite", but insulting at the same time, then I realized that there's just different strokes for different folks and I can't please everyone. When it comes down to it, I have to put myself first.
      Hugs and thanks for your encouragement!! :-)

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  2. Great post sister. We write for us, what appeals to us. It's not our fault we like it dirty ;)

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    1. Thanks, sister! I guess you could say that we're just "hard" wired that way! Bwuahaha!

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  3. Awesome post, Robin! I couldn't agree with you more. There have been times where I have told someone that I write erotic romances and they have given me an admonishing look as if I should feel guilty about it. Like I am doing something wrong. I don't get it. I don't deny that I am a sexual being, so why should my characters? Some folks are so uptight about sex and yet it is the most natural thing.

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    1. I think our different likes and dislikes are what make us special. I'm just grateful that there are enough writers out there to cover all the genres we each prefer. One way or another, everyone will get what they need and like. Keep on being you, Jessica, and we'll all be better off for it! :-)

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  4. So damn true! Keep up the sexy stories, you won't hear me complaining!

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    1. Glad to hear that, D.C! Have a great week! :-)

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  5. Great post Robin!

    Never apologise for what you write :)

    Dee x

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  6. I loved this. Great post. I know what you mean how it hurts when other others look down on what you write.

    Keep writing. Love your stories...love you!


    Nikki Prince

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    1. So glad to be birds of a feather with you, little Miss Chickadee Prince! Love ya' right back! :-)

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    2. The thing is...is that people should be able to feel comfortable like you said. I don't want someone reading my books that are all erotic and feeling like ewww what did I just read?

      I'm glad I wasn't the only one feeling this way...thank you for voicing it.

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  7. Brava! When I started writing erotic romance, I knew it wasn't going to sit well with a number of people (elderly relatives, friends who are a tad conservative, etc.). But one of the benefits of being in my forties is that, gee, I don't really give a crap about what other people think anymore. :-D

    As writers, we've got to be honest with ourselves about what we want to write. Sticking to "safe" topics doesn't help us grow, and results in boring, derivative work. Better to push the envelope and find out where that leads you, than to stay inside the lines because "I'm *supposed* to."

    As Laurel Thatcher Ulrich once said, "Well-behaved women seldom make history." Go ahead -- make history.

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    1. You're absolutely right, Nicola! Growing older and paying the dues I've had to pay has left me feeling confident and has helped me to understand that if I can't do anything about it, there's no sense in worrying about it.
      Hugs!

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  8. AS I've told people they have a choice whether to read what I write. I won't be upset if they don't. It is personal choice. This is me, take it or leave it. Ditto this is life, and we all have to live it as we think is best for us. For me, that includes writing as I do.
    Your books are 'real,' that is so good, don't let anyone take that away from you.

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